How Research Works: 34

FACULTY PARKING LOT: 10AM

CAMPUS POLICE
You can't park here.

GRAD STUDENT
But I work here.  Look I have a faculty pass and everything.

CAMPUS POLICE

This lot is for commencement parking only.  If you have a pass you can't park here today.

GRAD STUDENT
Is the other lot open?

CAMPUS POLICE

All parking on campus is for commencement only.

GRAD STUDENT
So... nobody who works here is allowed to park on campus today.

CAMPUS POLICE

That is correct.

GRAD STUDENT
I guess it figures that commencement would be as big a disaster as everything else around here.

CAMPUS POLICE
You have no idea.  Do yourself a favor and stay far away from the fountains today.