Sunday, February 14, 2010


The only thing worse than being a vampire in Daybreakers, is actually sitting down and watching Daybreakers.  Just awful. 

Apparently Ethan Hawke considers this movie an allegory for... something.  My guess, its an allegory for how moronic this recent obsession in popular culture is. This was worse than Bram Stoker's Dracula, a film in which Keanu Reeves attempted an English(?) accent.  At least the vampires in that film had cool superpowers.  The only power the vampires in Daybreakers seem to have is uncanny ability to do exactly what the plot requires exactly when it is required.  In literally every other respect, they are completely incompetent.  This is not to say that the plot was not ridiculous and awful, because I'm pretty sure monkeys could have written a better story.

Seriously, this whole movie felt like something that someone who had never seen a good movie in their entire lives would make.  Even something with absolutely no conception of language (amoebas?) could have written better dialogue than the inane tripe that Willem Defore spouts throughout this mess.  If even Willem Defoe is phoning it in, you know your movie has problems. 

Instead of seeing Daybreakers, I recommend doing anything else (aside from seeing The Blindside) such as hitting your head against a brick wall for 90 minutes.  No matter what you end up doing, you'll be doing something less painful and probably more productive than watching this monstrosity.

No comments: